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20 life advice lessons we learn hard way

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Yes the big I thought I would take a moment and write a rather personal post about the life lessons I learned in my 20s. Tweet your lifelessons so far to vvanedwards. Reflecting about what I have learned was a wonderful process in itself. I realized 20 life advice lessons we learn hard way since I started my company at the age of 21, most of my 20s were spent building a business. And luckily, I write a lot about my experiences on this blog.

You will see I get to link back to the articles and posts I have shared over the past decade at different points in my life in the lessons below.

However, there are some life...

The other milestones of the past decade: Some lessons are professional, some are personal, I hope some resonate with you:. There is a happiness myth.

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We think that we need to work really hard to be successful and that will make us happy. However, science and my own personal experience has completely debunked this common idea.

I lived the first 23 years striving for the opposite. I had it all wrong. You have to fight for happiness and it has to come before anything else. Happiness brings you success, it makes you more productive and it is the foundation for everything in your life. And that is why it is my very first lesson. I listen to polka music when I work out. I can recognize my friends by their unique pheromone scent.

I ask invasive and oddly personal conversation starters with strangers. It took 30 years, but amazing friends, a weird-loving husband and an amazing Science of People tribe have helped me embrace my weirdness. Thank you for giving me the courage to be real.

I love to experiment. I love to try things out, taste test, savor, sample and test ideas. This love of experimenting is what led me to start our Science of People human behavior lab in the first place—I wanted an excuse to play around with ideas!

For example, here are a couple of my experimental rules:. Silence used to terrify me. I was so afraid of conversational lulls that I would not only interrupt people before they were done speaking, but I would miss most of what they were saying while planning out my counter-point.

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This is a terrible way to interact. So, last year I took a vow of silence. It was horrifying, nerve-racking and difficult, but it was one of the best experiences of my life. In silence you learn. In silence you reflect.

In silence you really connect with the people around you. I plan to take a vow of silence every year to remind me of this power. A fundamental part of being human is eliminating and avoiding anything that makes us uncomfortable—lumpy beds, inconvenient ideas and too personal questions. Growth comes from the challenge of discomfort.

20 life advice lessons we learn hard way am a TED talk junkie. I love watching TED talks whenever I possibly can—every lunch break, while getting ready and while cooking. After hitting videoI started to wonder what the differences were between the talks that got the most views and the talks that got the least. I would watch two talks that came out the exact same year on the exact same topic but one would have 22 million views and the other would have 22, We set-up a huge experiment to find out.

They only care if you make them feel like the most impressive, fascinating and interesting person in the room. And this brings me to We have talked to hundreds of people in our lab.

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We have asked them about their deepest darkest secrets, we have asked them to share their regrets and we have asked them to tell us their stories. And let me tell you, not one of them has ever been boring.

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However, many of them were boring at first. This might be controversial, but some of our participants were really hard nuts to crack.

If you are having a...

They came in and were very difficult to talk to—some might have even called them boring. But with the right questions and a true desire to discover their inner worth, we were able to unlock interesting stories from every single person. This quote comes from Greg McKeownauthor of Essentialism: I have read this book 3 times and each time I learn something new. But there is one principle that has stuck with me and fundamentally changed the way I approach my time:. What are your priorities?

We worry people are gossiping about us. We worry what people will think of us.

#1: Happiness First

We have an average of 60, thoughts per day. Even if they thought about you 2 times a day—that is only 0. Your thoughts change your action. Another way to think about it is that your mind changes your brain.

Research has shown that thoughts create all kinds of neural pathways in our brains. If you want to power up, think power thoughts. A few years ago I read a story about an Australian nurse who helped people at the very end of their lives.

She said she would often ask her patients what they regretted most right before they were about to 20 life advice lessons we learn hard way. She said the most common regret was:. It takes tremendous courage to be ourselves and to live the way we want to live. I endeavor to do this every day and often fail, but these questions keep me in check:. Take these three questions and write them down somewhere you will see them in a few months—a blank page of a journal, the bottom of a desk drawer or even the bottom of your cereal box.

If we constantly ask ourselves how to live regret-free, we make choices that are for us and not others. I will live a regret-free life. Love is universal, but how we love is not. Looking back 20 life advice lessons we learn hard way my failed relationships—romantic, social and professional, I noticed that the major point of contention was a difference in how we loved and expressed appreciation for one another. I hope these help you understand how you love, how you feel love and how powerful it can be to honor your true language.

I would take a sweet, melty drugstore chocolate box over Lindt any day. I used to hate being asked if I was an extrovert or introvert. Even worse is when someone tells YOU what they think you are after one conversation. It took me many years of research to understand the science of personality, but once I did, it was like being freed. We all have personality traits that affect our relationships, how we make decisions and our communication patterns.

Extroversion—or how you orient towards people, is one of them. Not everyone has to be an extrovert or introvert; there is an in-between trait called ambiversion.

Learning your personality type helps you make decisions and understand the hidden forces that drive your behavior.

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Something terrible happens when I get really, really hungry. This is called hangry. At 30 years old, for the sake of my friends and family I have learned enough to know that I should always carry a granola bar. If I could go back and do college over again, I would change one thing. I would have studied less and partied more. I mean partying for the sake of people. I spent years working on my technical skills for the job market and completely abandoned my people and relationship skills. People skills are not a luxury.

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Like keeping your body in shape at the gym, I hone and tone my people intelligence, and it is amazing how much this has changed my life. I married my best friend. I have best friends that feel like family.

I have less drama and miscommunications in my life because I put a priority on understanding how people work and leveraging it. My mission is to help my readers and students get this power and sense of joy from people as well. I hope I can help people with people. Pretty much everything about Seinfeld turned out to be true. Man hands on a woman is really 20 life advice lessons we learn hard way.

Names that rhyme with female body parts are still funny. But if you can take in a life lesson without putting yourself through difficulty--if you can benefit from someone else's Here are seven such lessons that it would be great if you didn't have to learn it the hard way.

Published on: Nov 20, 20 Important Life Lessons Every Teen Must Learn thinksafety.info They are not rites-of-passage that all kids have to partake in to qualify their teenage years.

They are Don't learn the hard way. It's hard. It includes embarrassment, set-backs, long-term 5 Tips On Handling the Holidays As a Blended Family. For my 30th birthday I'm asking for advice.


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